BY CHARLES COSTELLO
This one isn’t about sports. It’s about life and losing the ones we love.
At 11:45 a.m. last Thursday, my mom and Nellie pulled out of the driveway like they’d done every day for 16 years. It was a daily routine for both: Nellie would go to the bathroom on the front lawn, hop in the car, and head to the park to run, sniff, and make another bathroom stop, perhaps more than one. Only this time, Nellie wasn’t headed to the park. This time, Nellie wouldn’t be coming home.
Nellie, our family dog since 1994, was put to sleep last Thursday. After 16 wonderful years, it was time. I first noticed Nellie’s decline back in August when I returned to my parents’ house at night and let her out to go to the bathroom before she went to sleep. I had done this many times before. It required opening the front door to let her out, and in a few minutes opening the door again to let her back in. But when I let her out that night, out into the darkness, she didn’t return. It took over an hour, a flashlight, a lot of walking, another dog, and a ton of panic before I found her at the bottom of the hill in the backyard. She was standing still, afraid to move, unable to walk back up the hill on her own. You see, Nellie had lost her hearing and much of her sight. She was also in an incredible amount of pain. I carried her up the hill that night, relieved that she was home safe, but sad because this was not the Nellie that I knew. For the next six months, she would limp around the house, fall down constantly, get stuck in corners, and lose a whole lot of weight. All the while, she battled this stage of her life, this final stage, with courage and compassion. Nellie understood how much we loved her, how much it hurt to see her go from a healthy and happy dog to one that was approaching the end. That was Nellie. It was never about her.
The last week of Nellie’s life was the worst. My parents were away for part of it and my brother and I were left to take care of her. Again, she would fall, and now when she got stuck in corners she would cry. And so would I.
I visited Nellie the day before her life came to an end. I held her, laid down next to her, cried, and told her how much I loved her, how great of a dog she was. I would do the same the next morning, and that would be the last time I would ever see my dog.
I was supposed to join my mom on that car ride to the doctor’s last Thursday. Because of a miscommunication, my mom left seconds before I arrived. I didn’t get to carry Nellie out of the house, didn’t get to hold her as she was put to sleep. I feel a lot of regret over that, but then I think that that’s the way Nellie wanted it to be. She would want me to remember her alive, remember all the good times we had over those 16 years.
My girlfriend, Erin, has two cats. We like to joke that I’m the step-father to one (Groucho, who Erin rescued five years ago) and the father to the other (Sunny, who we adopted together back in October). Every day I watch her pick up the cats, kiss them and talk to them and play with them. Groucho and Sunny are her life, and I admire her for that. That’s what Nellie was to me.
When the time is right I’ll get another dog, but there will never be another Nellie. I’ve already got potential names picked out: Torre (for Joe Torre) and Imus (for Don Imus) are at the top of the list. In the end, I’ll love them like I loved Nellie. That’s the way she would want it.
For 16 years Nellie was there as I graduated from high school, graduated from college, and eventually graduate school. For a few years she would join me on my paper route, as I delivered the Stamford Advocate door to door while Nellie stopped to sniff and observe. She would be there through the job changes and the break-ups, through the good days and the bad. She was there for five Yankee championships and one Giants Super Bowl victory. There for Clinton and Bush and now Obama. There for September 11th. There for so much more.
That’s why these last six months were so tough for me. At times I would stay overnight at my parents’ house. I would wake up some mornings and hear Nellie downstairs, struggling to get up after she had taken a fall. I would go down and help her up, only to see her fall again. Toward the end of her life, we would have to lift her up to bring her outside, and do the same to bring her back in. In her healthy days this would have been impossible; Nellie was not a small dog. But in her final weeks and days, she had lost that weight and now I was able to pick her up with ease. In fact, each day it got a little easier. And that broke my heart. Her backside was caving in, she was in a lot of pain, could barely walk, and by now her sight was all but gone. Nellie’s time was limited.
Last Tuesday I was upstairs when I heard my mom on the phone with the doctor. She said she was ready, and they made an appointment for Nellie to be put to sleep at 12 p.m. on Thursday, which left me wondering: Did Nellie know that when she walked from the house to the car that Thursday that she wouldn’t be coming back? When she woke up that morning, did she know that she only had a few hours left? That morning was like so many others. Nellie had walked into the kitchen and fallen down. I picked her up, put her down on her bed and held her one final time. When I looked into her eyes, I could tell she knew. Even Nellie, who for 16 years was full of life and energy and love, knew that it was time.
My dad put it best when he said that Nellie was a great dog, a dog who never gave us any trouble. He would know. For years, Nellie would wait by the door for him to get home from work. When his car pulled into the driveway we would let her out of the house. She would sprint to the driver’s door of his car, tail furiously wagging the entire way. Nellie was always there for us, as we were for her.
If it’s true that dogs are a man’s best friend, then Nellie was mine.
Nellie, may you forever rest in peace.
Three Years for Grasso. Do It Now, Fordham
Posted by Fordham SportsNet on February 15, 2010
Jared Grasso deserves a three-year contract from Fordham, Charles Costello says.
BY CHARLES COSTELLO
Random thoughts on this President’s Day:
It’s time for Fordham to permanently name Jared Grasso its men’s basketball head coach. Immediately after he was named interim head coach back on December 3rd, I said that he should be given the job on a permanent basis. While I understand the university’s desire to conduct a national search, coaches-turned-broadcasters like Fran Fraschilla and Tim Welsh aren’t going to excite the masses. And Fordham isn’t in a position to make a run at a Rick Pitino, if he becomes available, or even a Bobby Knight, who is available but may not make himself available. Grasso is young and full of energy. His players like him and he’s begun to change the culture within the program. Give him a three-year contract and let him work with Chris Gaston and Lance Brown and whoever else he can convince to come play basketball at Fordham. Grasso is a great recruiter and insists that more top recruits are on their way. Think about it: This guy has convinced kids to come play basketball at Rose Hill. Given the state of the program, that’s quite an accomplishment. Most importantly, Grasso desperately wants the job. He believes that Fordham can be a 20-win team in the next couple of years. Someone this passionate about Fordham basketball, and this optimistic about the future of the program, who the school knows and trusts and who will come at the right price, should be given the job today.
If you haven’t listened to Brian Clark’s play-by-play on WFUV (90.7 FM), then do yourself a favor and tune in. Clark is a senior at Fordham, and as the lead play-by-play guy for Fordham basketball and football, he’s a great listen. Accurate, informative, and entertaining, without being over-the-top, Clark is yet another young phenom to emerge out of Keating Hall.
Speaking of WFUV phenoms, have you heard/seen 1999 grad Connell McShane on the Imus in the Morning program? Connell, working for the Fox Business Channel, has become a big part of the show, and he’s excellent in his role as business reporter/Imus fave. Here is a recent exchange between Don Imus and Connell.
The One on One post-game show on Saturday was WFUV Sports at its best. An hour of game recap, commentary, and phone calls. Nobody is closer to the program than the sports department of WFUV, and that’s why we need more Fordham coverage from them. Their game coverage is great, and I understand the logic behind covering pro sports, but especially in the prime college months of September through March, they’d be providing a great service if they dedicated more of the One on One call-in-show to Fordham football and basketball. We can turn to WFAN (660 AM) for Giants and Yankee talk, but WFUV is the only place to go for Fordham sports.
I know this has nothing to do with Fordham, but Norm Roberts just had one of his best weeks at St. John’s. On Thursday, the Red Storm (formerly Redmen) beat Louisville at the Garden, and then last night they won at Notre Dame. At 14-10, 4-8 in the Big East, St. John’s at least has something to smile about. It may not save Roberts’ job, but those are two quality wins for the program.
One more nothing-to-do-with-Fordham comment: What’s happened to UConn? I can’t resist since I live in Husky Country here in Connecticut. Jim Calhoun returned on Saturday and the Connecticut Post (have you read my CT Post Jets Blog) put it best with its headline, “Dysfunctional Dogs.” Tonight, the Huskies are 10-point underdogs at Villanova.
Finally, I’ll be starting a new feature here on Fordham SportsNet, something along the lines of ”Reasons to be Proud of Fordham” or “Reasons to Root for Fordham.” More information to come, but for now, think Binghamton basketball.
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